s g k drama 1.5

at our most recent counselor “lunner,” somehow the topic of my future spouse came up in conversation at my little table of “grown-ups” (i.e. 21+). sam insisted that whomever i marry has to be, and i quote, “equally MOD.”

what the heck does that mean??

“you see, there’s God [level hand held up high], there’s Fr. Mark [level hand held a little below that], then there’s MOD [hand a little farther below], and then the rest of us [hand at the bottom, practically on the table]” followed by burst of laughter.

and then sam went on to laugh about how whomever i marry has to go through all of them and meet their approval because they can’t have me marrying a substandard dude.

great. if there ever were a reason men found me unapproachable before, now they have reason #8329… 20 or so boys who will gauge his “MOD”-ness to make sure i am not lowering my standards.

whatever the heck MOD means!

i don’t wanna be single for the rest of my life!

what is it with str men and preventing me from doing things? e.g. fr. mark not allowing me to take a day off to go to SF for r’s solemn profession of perpetual vows. extreme such a meanie! i can’t make heads or tails of it (ha, he was trying to make me flip for it today… but then he went to an unknowing j instead and she ended up “losing on my behalf”… wt…) is he put off because i’m seeking other places of employment? is he finally annoyed with me for whining so much? is he just messing with me to get me riled up??? (that’s definitely working)

ok, i will admit though, on the subject of standards for my future husband, i do find the notion half humorous… the notion of some poor gentlemen i bring to raphael undergoing close scrutiny by the boys. ahahahahaha. that could be pretty funny. but likely not. surely they wouldn’t actually do anything.

cuz they could get MODified.

i just have to record this because… it’s just funny. and i want to remember it. especially on days, which i’m sure will come again in the future, when i am on a “frustrated at StR” rampage.

ok, i don’t even know when this began… it has to have been going on for over a month now AT LEAST.

it started with justin and abi i think. but today, i noticed dusty and andy in that lineup also… possibly also louis. i don’t know for sure because it was dark.

anyway.

the guy counselors of that year (high school grads of 2007? ewwww that is so disgustingly young!) almost always line up where my car will pass by as i’m leaving the StR parking lot and BOW as i drive by. profusely. mockingly and while laughing… but still… BOWING… at me in my car…

LIKE I’M ONE OF THOSE KOREAN GANGSTER BOSSES!!

ahahahahaha
ahahahahahahah
ahahahaha

it’s rather awkward and embarrassing actually. but how is one supposed to react to such treatment except to laugh??? they are so ridiculous!

i think i know how the young man who is told to sell all his belongings, give to the poor, and follow Jesus felt like… the sadness. i get it. and i too walk away sadly… but will i actually do it? i don’t know. the story hasn’t ended… yet.

i think it’d be interesting if The Matrix were actually a choose-your-own-adventure book with an alternate course of events developing after Neo does not choose the red pill, but the blue pill instead. what would have happened then? or what happens to people who want to go back into the matrix? hmm, i’m one of those people so maybe i’ll let you know how my story unfolds.

i think i had a strong dose of “reality check” from fr. mark today. he speaks it so gently, but what he says has the force to knock one down. and he is being straightforward, but nebulous at the same time. and lots of laughter (on his part, not mine). lots of that familiar maniacal laughter. i don’t understand how i am “so obvious” to him, but completely in the dark about myself.

what do you see?

i think i still don’t want to see anything.